Social Science Test

The day I returned back to school from Fiji, we had two tests. A maths and a Social Science. The S.S. test ended up being more about initiative than the definitions etc. that we had learnt. I was worried that I would not get a good mark, though, because I didn't even finish my essay. I am usually one of the last to finish any test, not because I don't understand the content, but I tend to take my good time. I only wrote two paragraphs and a conclusion, so I thought that would definitely bring my marks down. My wonderful and intelligent friends reassured me, 'it wasn't an English test, it will be marked on the content, not the structure'.
Still, I was genuinely fretting about my results, so when I was informed that I got 94%, it was a pleasant surprise.
This is the essay that I wrote for the test, the topic was, Developed nations have a responsibility to developing nations.

Developed nations have a responsibility to developing nations because they, to a certain degree, are the reason for the developing nations' positions on the global scale. For centuries, the countries that are the known as super-powers today, have had advantages that have lead to their developed state. Whether it be land mass, a large population, or even just their country's position on Earth, today's global-powers, say America or China, have had the resources to develop. Which is what they have done, to a huge extent. Now they have the resources available to help developing nations, and they are in a stable enough position that their charity would not negatively effect them.

I believe developed nations have a responsibility towards developing nations in the context of humanity. The majority of America are currently living in the lap of luxury. Children have top-class education readily available, and nearly everyone has access to a good supply of food and water. Then you look at Fiji, where people are struggling to find food to eat, and shelter is anything but sufficient. How can the U.S.A. spend millions of dollars on junk-food each year, when there are populations around the world dying from starvation and exposure? I believe that developed nations have a moral obligation towards developing nations.

Developed nations have a responsibility towards developing nations because of a number of reasons. I strongly believe this and have conveyed this to you through two reasons: the fact that developed nations are, in part, the reason for developing nations' positions, and also that in the context of humanity and moral, they have the resources available to help them, so they should.

Re-writing this essay-thing I notice that I used the word 'reason' three times in my pathetic excuse for a conclusion. In the hard-copy, I also put developing and developed the wrong way around in a sentence, which contradicted everything else I had written. This is certaintly not my best work, and I believe I could have produced something much more accurate and impressive if I had had more time, and acess to some country demographics. I'm just saying.

The other mistake I made was in the question section. I wrote that a country's G.N.P. was only one of many development indicators, not that it also didn't represent the whole populations' (everyone's) wealth.